First, let me begin by saying I don’t give a rat’s behind about the game of golf. Secondly, I want to say I play  A LOT of golf these days. And playing golf has (and I am not being dramatic here) saved my life over the past couple of years. 

Tomorrow (and, well also Thursday. My mother celebrated for two days as she was born at midnight) would have been my mother’s 85th birthday. My mother, Sarah Jane Fletcher (Sally Morrow), was an amazing golfer. Like, really good. My mother was religious about two things, the way of Jesus and the way of golf. And both seemed to bring her a great deal of joy! 

The club where our mother played golf religiously had rules, like most religions do. Now, rules were not my mother’s favorite thing. One of the rules of the Church of Ridgefields Country Club was that one must wear a collared shirt in order to be allowed on the course. So, my mother would famously wear a tee-shirt over her collared shirt. She had two tee-shirts that she would wear while playing golf; one said “I am so happy I could sh*t” under the image of a frog sitting at a work desk chewing on a pencil. And the other simply said “It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do”. 

In the practice of Ubuntu we are invited to find humor in our humanity, dignity for ourselves and to see the wider perspective. While my mother had never heard of Ubuntu, she taught me the importance of these practices throughout her life. My mother died in April of 2022, and a few months later I found myself playing golf again. My brother even bought me the frog tee-shirt to wear while playing. 

I am not sure exactly why I have found such joy and peace playing golf, but I suspect that by playing golf, I am practicing Ubuntu. On the beautiful course, holding the club, focusing on the ball, breathing deeply and enjoying the sun and wind and amazing mountain views, I feel connected to my mother and creation. I feel connected to the other players on the course when I hear them yell out “FORE”, or when a group begins to roll with laughter either because their team mate made a great shot or totally bunked it. 

I also find humour in the absurdity of the game. There I am with a stick and ball trying to get the ball into a little hole 300 yards away. And, at the moment I feel VERY serious about it. The world is on fire and all I want is to get that ball into that hole in as few strokes as possible.

IT IS ABSURD.

And so damn fun. When I play golf I am reminded of how small I am, how insignificant! And yes, how absurd humanity can be. This smallness does not feel dismissive, it feels liberating. The absurdity of humanity does not feel depressing, it feels true, clear and actually hopeful. Because if I can care about getting that ball in the hole (and I do!) then I know I can care about feeding the hungry and clothing the naked (and I do).

Learning to laugh at ourselves and take ourselves a little less seriously, is a foundational practice of Ubuntu. On page 191 of Everyday Ubuntu, Mungi Ngomane says this, 

“We can cry. We can rage. We can sink into a depression. But, sometimes, laughing in the face of a difficult situation is the best antidote. Laughter gives us back control, however briefly. It brings respite and, at times, relief. Humour also allows us to show our humanity, because it is an attractive quality that lifts our spirits. We gravitate towards people who make us laugh for good reason.”

Happy Birthday Sally Morrow. I hope every day in heaven is a ‘hole-in-one’ and that on the Divine Course there are no dress-codes, and that diet pepsi and peanut butter crackers and Virginia Slims  are a part of the Communion of the Saints. I miss you. I think I’ll go play 18 now.